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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fricking Flora...


You see, polyvinyl chloride doesn't do that.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I'm strangely proud of this...


It may be time to take a long, hard look at myself.

Monday, December 20, 2010

You Can't Say That, Sarcasmo...


I'm taking my sarcastic robot ventriloquism act on the road.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Friday, November 5, 2010

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Enjoy Cake Irresponsibly...


No-one was ever angry whilst eating cake. Fact.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

No Rest For The Wicked...


Freud would have a field-day with that one.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Size Matters...


Although it does have a lot to do with how you use it.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

Serious Business...


Just trying to get the discussion started, that's all.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Look Like A Monkey...


But that's because we share 98% of our DNA.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

No Regrets...


I need antecedent event contact-lenses.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Making Maths Fun...


I should've become a teacher.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

For The Love Of God, Stop...


There is only one way for those horns to make that noise...

More Important than Life and Death...


This is why the English drink so much. It's the only shot we have at optimism.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Weather is Sweet...


The sun is shining. A perfect excuse to dress like a dick.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Yo, Poseidon, Over Here...


No dolphins though. Shame. I was in the mood for flips 'n' shit.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

[emoticon incredulous face]...



In times of trouble I look further for help and hope GoD doesn't LoL.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Enjoy Responsibly...



Tip: find the best wine by dividing the alcohol content by the price. The higher the number (or the "pissed/pound ratio" to use the official term), the better the wine.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Too Many Golf Puns...



Time to remind everyone that nailing porn stars and keeping secrets isn't the only thing he's good at.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My Apologies...



My only excuse for a lackadaisical approach to blogging. My bad.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Toeing the Company line...



Yes Sir, of course I'm focused on our annual corporate objectives.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

If they insist...



Funny, the only thing they don't have there is my wife.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Ouroboros 'n' shiznit...



I know many of you have had nightmares that started like this.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Acceptance...



The first step is admitting it to myself.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Holy waste of time...



Like a really, really shit Batman.

Extra Special...



Research the reference. You won't be disappointed.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy Mother's Day...



Is it bad luck to have no idea where the Mother of your child is on Mother's Day? Have a great day sweetheart, wherever you are.

Friday, March 12, 2010



Death? Sex? He doesn't know. Oh, the look on his face...

Just because...



A lame explanation for such banality. Still, you have to admire the penmanship.

Research has shown...



Graphs = Science
Science = The Truth
Therefore Graphs = The Truth
I bathe myself in Syllogism.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

It begins...



A simple enough question, with a multitude of possible responses. I'm open to answers/debate/shut up you goofy fucker/drinking until we solve it (delete as applicable).